remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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