how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
