Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
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