i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
