things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My penis needs a shock collar
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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