This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
