If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
