His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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