thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
