i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
