the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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