i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
