what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
