remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
