Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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