he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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