Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
