I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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