I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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