We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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