he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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