Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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