East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
