Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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