Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
