in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
