it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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