Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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