I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
