So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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