her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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