Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
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Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
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Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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