Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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