Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
