i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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