Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
