I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Im part way to drunk.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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