i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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