i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
