omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
