she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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