no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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