Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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