we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
