he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
