they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize