white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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