none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
