The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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