wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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