I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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