And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
