I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
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He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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