accomplished twins. life is a go
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
