you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
