If i come over, it means nothing
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize