My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
