im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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