community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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