So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
