Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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