I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
